i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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