i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
