Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
