Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
