does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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