You can't motorboat a personality
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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