why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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