Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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