I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
