just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
