Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
