My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
