I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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