I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
