I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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