3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
