the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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