If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I didn't notice because vodka
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
