Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
