I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
