i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
