i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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