i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
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