i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
