Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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