You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
