I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
