you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
