Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
