he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
