Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
