Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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