She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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