My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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