For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
