I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
