Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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