Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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