I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
