I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
