As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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