I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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