yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
