There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
why do cheetos always look like penises
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
