i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
