oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
