I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
