..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
