I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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