I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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