Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
