DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
