For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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