we have officially lost it.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Did I show you my penis last night?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
