I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Randomize
