He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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