Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize