even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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