just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
