You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
