Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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