her vagine was all disorganized.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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