He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How naked do you want me to be?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
